Jasper Finch’s life was already a catastrophe in slow motion: a coffee maker in pieces, a girlfriend gone with the cat, and a career built on crushing dreams as Pinnacle Insurance’s “Rejection King.” When a routine claim for a teenage boy’s freak vending‑machine “accident” leads him to Millbrook—a town so relentlessly cheerful it makes Stepford look gruff—Jasper stumbles into a conspiracy wilder than any policy loophole. Beneath the pastel facades and forced smiles, elderly assassins knit in code, a corporate boss plays puppet‑master, and every rejected claim becomes a grudge matched with murderous precision. Teaming up with Lily, a cynical 16‑year‑old hacker with more backbone than an entire actuarial table, and Deputy Ferguson, a cop demoted for asking too many questions, Jasper must navigate homicidal grandmothers, exploding pies, and a killer parade float shaped like an insurance policy—before he joins the body count. Part dark comedy, part thriller, We Regret to Inform You (Again) is a gut‑wrenching, laugh‑out‑loud plunge into the absurdity of bureaucracy run amok. It’s a tale of generational trauma, institutional cruelty, and how the worst catastrophes can spark the fiercest fight for justice. By the final page, you’ll believe in miracles—especially the ones born from the most ridiculous circumstances. If you’ve ever felt beaten down by red tape, you’ll relish watching a down‑on‑his‑luck adjuster deliver the ultimate denial… to the system itself.