She's thirty-two, unmarried, and quite happy, thank you. He's a war hero with no memory of proposing. Too bad society says they're already wed. Miss Agatha Primrose Bellweather has made peace with spinsterhood. She has a fine collection of teacups, a scathing wit, and no time for nonsense—until she wakes up one morning to find her name in the Gazette beside a complete stranger's under the heading "Upcoming Nuptials." Colonel Lucien Hargrave has faced cannons, saboteurs, and incompetent British generals. But nothing prepared him for the terrifying force that is Agatha Bellweather—or the marriage certificate declaring them man and wife. Desperate to preserve their reputations, they agree to a temporary union of convenience with absolutely no kissing, emotion, or falling in love. They fail immediately. Also featuring: • A cat named Misdemeanor who attacks annulment papers • A scandal sheet called Goosed! • A mistaken identity involving fainting, fake names, and one very smug goose • A black goose who may or may not control the entire plot For fans of slow-burn chaos, reluctant passion, and heroines who wield sarcasm like a saber, this gloriously improper tale is your last chance at love—or at least your next favorite disaster.