What happens when every object in a house has an opinion... and isn't afraid to share it? Professional thief Marnie Fleetfoot thought stealing the legendary Sword of Splendour would be just another job. She was wrong. The moment she steps into the giant's enchanted house, Marnie discovers that everything talks back: The carpet demands proper etiquette before allowing passage The door requires elaborate compliments about its craftsmanship The chandelier threatens to fall on anyone who doesn't appreciate its sacrifice The alarm clock takes security very seriously (and very loudly) Even the broom has retirement grievances What follows is a hilariously chaotic heist as Marnie navigates opinionated furniture, judgmental portraits, and home accessories with serious attitude problems. Every step becomes a negotiation with objects that have decades of pent-up frustrations. But the real twist? The sword she's been hired to steal might not be the treasure the King actually wants... Perfect for anyone who's ever suspected their household items might be judging them. A delightfully absurd fantasy adventure that proves the best magic is found in the most unexpected places.