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Coles ReFused: A Memoir of War, Fatherhood, and the Silence Between Generations at Village Green Shopping Centre in Vernon, BC
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He survived the Khmer Rouge. His sons learned to survive him.
At eight years old, Kam Nuon stood frozen at the edge of a pit while a mother held her baby above bamboo spikes and pleaded: Take my baby. Please. He couldn't move. Not refusal. A body that had already decided. A nervous system wired to one command: survive.
For the next fifty years he never stopped running-from labor camps, minefields, and refugee camps to a marriage, military service, and four sons who learned to read his silence before they could read a book.
He gave them roofs that never leaked and food that never ran out. He gave them a father who was never really there. One by one, his adult sons closed the door.
Now, in a Berlin flat with no doors-a wife who refuses to disappear, and a youngest son who has never once learned to make himself small-the old wiring is being asked to do something it has never done: STAY.
ReFused is not a redemption story. It is the story of a man learning-fifty years late-to be re-fused into something different. A man who stays.
For readers of The Body Keeps the Score and The Latehomecomer -a searing memoir of war, genocide, and intergenerational trauma, tracing what a Cambodian survivor's silence costs the family he's still learning to stay for.
He survived the Khmer Rouge. His sons learned to survive him.
At eight years old, Kam Nuon stood frozen at the edge of a pit while a mother held her baby above bamboo spikes and pleaded: Take my baby. Please. He couldn't move. Not refusal. A body that had already decided. A nervous system wired to one command: survive.
For the next fifty years he never stopped running-from labor camps, minefields, and refugee camps to a marriage, military service, and four sons who learned to read his silence before they could read a book.
He gave them roofs that never leaked and food that never ran out. He gave them a father who was never really there. One by one, his adult sons closed the door.
Now, in a Berlin flat with no doors-a wife who refuses to disappear, and a youngest son who has never once learned to make himself small-the old wiring is being asked to do something it has never done: STAY.
ReFused is not a redemption story. It is the story of a man learning-fifty years late-to be re-fused into something different. A man who stays.
For readers of The Body Keeps the Score and The Latehomecomer -a searing memoir of war, genocide, and intergenerational trauma, tracing what a Cambodian survivor's silence costs the family he's still learning to stay for.
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