Stuart Grist is a teenager with a scientific mind and a very low threshold for chaos. Gary Muntz is his best friend, a dedicated connoisseur of Wotsits and Bourbons who believes any situation can be improved with a trip to the local bakery. Together, they live on Cilla Black Close, a place where the most exciting thing usually happens in the snack aisle. Everything changes when their attempt at a science fair project spirals into a reality-bending odyssey. They aren't just dealing with woodlice and moss anymore. Suddenly, they are encountering Ben, a being with a forked tongue who treats the strands of causality like candy floss, and Time herself, a silent, mourning figure in a black veil who moves like ink in water. As the boys are thrust into a world of temporal signatures and anomalous spikes, they must figure out how to survive a universe that seems determined to implode. Along the way, they'll face monkeys, tentacle monsters, and the confusing gift of a lottery ticket that seems to defy the laws of probability. Monkeys, Tentacle Monsters and Greggs is an irreverent, fast-paced dive into the absurd. It blends high-concept science fiction with the mundane realities of British life, proving that you don't need a spaceship to travel the stars, sometimes, you just need a slightly squashed packet of biscuits and a bit of luck. Will Stuart and Gary save the world, or will they just get distracted by the prospect of a warm sausage roll?