A sense of humour, a garden, two dogs, an extended family, a 'make do and mend' mentality, new freedom fighter friends and a deepening Christian faith enabled one family to weather the storm that was Covid. Pervasive and unrelenting fear produced a divide between those who received a 'safe and effective' vaccine and those who did not, a requirement to wear a mask to go to a swimming pool or visit a dentist, job losses, QR checks at playgrounds and the great toilet paper panic. The unvaccinated were separated from family and friends, forbidden to enter restaurants and other businesses, and threatened with quarantine camps. Meanwhile the climate hystericals were threatening to remove meat from the menu, energy from the home and holidays from the family calendar. 'Social distance' 'SADS (sudden adult death)syndrome', 'vaccidents', 'covidiocy', 'new normal', 'safe and effective', 'the science', 'essential services', are now unfortunately, terms in common usage Masks, Mandates and Mayhem invents an alternative laugh and learn vocabulary such as 'Dicky Ticker syndrome', a 'wedding of wallabies', the 'nsq (nutters per square inch) quotient' and 'fart facts' and services such as the 'crow and go' rooster drop off program and 'cinderella cleaning'. Media lies, police brutality, medical negligence and political bullying combined with technological surveillance to produce the biggest global evil in history. Laugh, learn and remember.