A satirical diary of a marketing executive working in a bank. Phteven is everything you could hope for in a marketing executive who works for a bank. His light familiarity with the English language dovetails majestically with his robust command of jargon. But this published diary is more than that: it is the chronicle of a naïf coming of age. A hard-working, well-intentioned student becomes a disingenuous slacker with a knack of passing the buck. Life has never passed someone by as quickly as it does Phteven. This book is sure to become a modern day classic and a best-seller. Early reactions have veered from warm to rapturous and from inscrutable to scrutable. Ombudsman Pearson Slackshin had this to say, "A very funny book. All the Bangs and Whistles you would expect from a master of his craft." Magistrate Nature Witherspoon said, "Without wishing to Bang My Own Trumpet, this is a revelatory work, every page lightly marbled with the scent of Ambergris and Guillemot.' Alderman Nutmeg Chuff-Heartly said, "A good family book. No rudeness or naughty words. No low thoughts, just good, wholesome roughage. Kept me and my puppies regular as clockwork." See what all the fuss is about for yourself and step aboard the crazy, laugh-a-minute rollercoaster that is Licking A Tramp. You very likely won't regret it.