KITCHEN WARS AND OTHER DOMESTIC CRIMES is a darkly funny field guide to survival when basic life infrastructure collapses—and you still have to eat, function, and pretend you're fine. Told through true stories from years of bad housing, thin budgets, shared spaces, and zero kitchen privileges, it's part memoir, part practical handbook. Chapters cover the chaos categories: survival basics, bathroom problems, heating problems, house-sharing disasters, and field-tested parenting hacks—plus the duct-tape logic that turns necessity into questionable solutions with surprisingly decent results. Read it straight through or dip in wherever your life is currently leaking. If you've ever been broke, stuck, exhausted, far from home, trapped with roommates, or allergic to asking for help—welcome. Either way, problems will be solved