Healing is a scary thing. And so is the past. They leave us wondering: How did I end up the way I am? Where did I go wrong? Will I ever find some peace of mind? But they also help us realize: The answers were within us all along. These poems, written at the ages of 19 and 20, are the sum of my questions and answers. They were my attempt at healing my present and learning to love my past in order to thrive in the future. I have spent a lot of my life at war with my past and the boy I used to be, but this poetry helped me to truly, wholeheartedly, look myself in the eyes and say that I love him...I love him at last.