Why did Mrs. Smokey the Bear divorce Smokey the Bear? Because every time she got hot, he would beat her with a shovel. Josh, age 4, on seeing a couple kissing: ""He's trying to steal her chewing gum."" Sign: ""For Sale - Parachute. Only used once. Small stain"" On a virgin's tombstone: ""Returned To Sender Unopened"" What do you want on your tombstone? My 9-year-old grandson Trevor said, ""Pepperoni, cheese and mushrooms."" Georgia Tech School Rule: ""How do you get a University of Georgia cheerleader into your dorm room?"" ""Just grease her hips and push."" It's been so long since I made love, I can't remember who gets tied up. -Joan Rivers The towels were so thick there, I could hardly close my suitcase. -Yogi Berra She: ""You'd better go. My husband just drove up."" He: ""Where's the back door?"" She: ""We don't have one."" He: ""Where would you like one?"" These are some of the thousands of jokes, one-liners and quotes on just about any subject, crammed into the book. If you yearn for additional sparkle and zest in your presentations, you have come to the right place. This book is primarily a ""Humor Resource"" with a massive reservoir of clever and useable ""Fodder."" Haven't we all prepared for a presentation hoping for a Home Run? Sure we have. When we speak, we expect the ball to go right over the fence. But often. we have come up dry. And surely you remember your own failed experience(s). Just when you wanted to go into your ""Home Run Trot,"" you realized, ""you didn't quite get all of the ball."" The problem? You had no time to look for hilarious useable material. Wouldn't it have been invaluable to have a vast quality collection right at your fingertips? Well now you do. Get 'Em Laughing. and Bring the house down | Get 'em Laughing by E Gene Davis, Hardcover | Indigo Chapters