Steve Carrell—the Pretend Asshole Ari Gold—the Hollywood Asshole Simon Cowell—the Trying-Too-Hard Asshole Mickey Rourke—the Reformed Asshole Barney Stintson—the True Asshole To truly be an asshole is an art form. It requires the perpetrator to be cocky yet quietly confident, snide as well as sincere, sneaky while in your face. Better men than most have failed miserably. That's why there's this guide—the first book to walk you through the tricks of the trade and the numerous benefits the attitude reaps. You will find essential information on how to sharpen your prick skills. Whether you're way too over-the-top and need to tone it down, or are a shy wallflower who needs to turn it up, this book is your crash course in assholeology. You will now be able to get everything you ever wanted—in work, love, and life—by being an asshole. It's every guy's handbook on how to be an asshole, without getting a black eye.