Is it possible to feel too much-and end up feeling nothing at all? Meet Anna. Anna, who can walk through the worst crisis with a steady pulse of sixty beats per minute. Anna, who traded being a wall of ice for becoming an addict of sensations. In her powerful debut novel, the author takes the reader deep into the mechanics of trauma and emotional numbness. This is a journey through five stages of reclaiming the self-from a frozen childhood, through the flawless mask of adulthood, to risky experiments with pain as a way to feel alive again. In this book, you will find: A grounded portrayal of relational trauma - without embellishment, without unnecessary metaphors. A somatic perspective - how the body stores fear, and why thinking about emotions alone is not enough to truly feel them. A path toward integration - the process of building inner safety as the only real gateway to authenticity. This book does not offer easy answers. What it offers instead is an honest insight into what happens to a person who was forced to disconnect from themselves in order to survive. It is a book for anyone who has ever felt like a bystander in their own life. "Revised and updated edition"