IT IS A MYTH THAT ONLY MEN HAVE AFFAIRS. WHO DO YOU THINK THEY'RE HAVING THEIR AFFAIRS WITH? IT IS NOT ONLY THE AGGRIEVED PARTNER THAT NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND AND SURVIVE INFIDELITY. THE PERPETRATOR IS EQUALLY A VICTIM OF THE AFFAIR. AFFAIRS ARE NOT THE PRODUCT OF OUR TIMES. INfiDELITY HAS PERVADED OUR HISTORY, MYTHS AND CULTURE SINCE TIME IMMEMORIAL. MODERN TECHNOLOGY ONLY MAKES IT EASIER TO DISCOVER AFFAIRS. Such surprises and insightful observations abound in yet another robust book by renowned relationships counsellor Vijay Nagaswami, in the third of Westland's 'New Indian Marriage' series. More than humour, more than his wit, Nagaswami's greatest quality is his refusal to point out the villain in any piece. We are all flawed individuals, he remind s us yet again, and sometimes make foolish choices in the heat - or boredom - of the moment. But hope i s at hand. We can regret, forgive and learn to love again. And, most importantly, cast away our guilt and our recriminations.